Bruises of the Heart Read online

  Tara more than jumped at the chance to dress me up for the party at Will's when I asked for help. We had to raid not only my mom's closet, but Tara brought along things from her own wardrobe as well. The result was something I normally would never even think of wearing, but for a garden party we thought it would do.

  The sleeveless pink sweater that Tara supplied was paired with a light green skirt from my mom's closet. Tara allowed me to wear my own dark brown sandals and tailored jean jacket. She pulled my hair back into a simple low ponytail, then twisted and pinned it all up until I was sure she was taking out some buried aggression on my scalp. The result was actually pretty, with tendrils hanging down beside my face.

  "Wow, my little girl has grown up," my mom said from the doorway.

  "Mom, it's just a party. It's not like prom or anything."

  "I know, but you look so grown up right now and I really don't like it much."

  I smiled at my mom. I really didn't understand how she felt, but there were times when I wished I was younger and didn't have to deal with everything I was currently going through. I found it all a little intimidating and wanted Mom to make decisions for me, but that wouldn't be the I'm-a-senior-on–my-way-to-college-and-starting-my-own-life sort of thing to do.

  "Well, hopefully I won't embarrass Will by dressing this way instead of how I would have chosen to go to this party," I said, turning back to the mirror.

  "What do you mean, Victoria? Why would how you're dressed embarrass Will, since I know very well that you wouldn't have shown up in something that was inappropriate?" my mom asked a little sharply.

  "Oh, I just meant that I don't usually dress this way. I'm just being nervous and silly," trying to cover my mistake for speaking out loud.

  "Well, you have no reason to be nervous. You look gorgeous and I'm sure that you'll have a good time," she said. "What time will you be back?"

  "I don't know, but I don't imagine it being really late or anything."

  "Okay, as long as you're home by midnight," she said over her shoulder as she left the room.

  "Oh, I wish I was you," Tara said.

  "Why?"

  "You have a mom who is so completely understanding it is sick, and a boyfriend that every girl in school would like to be dating."

  "Yeah, but it's always different when you're the one living it."

  "That's very profound," Tara said sarcastically. "I thought that you would be happier than you are. Are things not working out the way you had hoped they would?"

  "It's not that. I find myself doing a lot of thinking and even though I know it's wrong, a lot of comparing," I said.

  "Between Will and Noah." Tara finished what I had left unsaid.

  I nodded and sat down next to her on my bed. Tara stared at me for a few moments, but it wasn't the frustrated look I had expected from her. Instead, I saw understanding in the face of my friend.

  "I think it's natural for you to compare the two of them. Noah was your first love, and it all ended very quickly and unexpectedly," she said pragmatically.

  Sitting there and thinking about what Tara had said, I was struck by how much we had both changed in the last year. Even though she was still a gossip, Tara was much more selective in what she spread around. I asked the question that had been bugging me for a while. "Did you ever find out why Will was expelled from Fairview?"

  "No, and it wasn't for lack of trying, either. Why do you ask?"

  "Victoria! Will just pulled up out front!" my mom yelled from the other room.

  I jumped off the bed. Tara was right behind me when I got to my door and opened it. Mom was just letting Will inside and he looked as good as he always did, dressed in name brands I could never afford.

  "Hey, you look great. Are you ready to go?" Will asked.

  "Yes, I am. Bye, Mom. Bye, Tara. I'll see you guys later." I walked out to the porch.

  "Have a good time!" Tara excitedly called out.

  "Remember, Victoria."

  "I will, Mom."

  After we were on our way to Fairview, Will reached over and took my hand. I drew my eyes away from the scenery and looked at him. I was struck by how handsome he was, but I was no longer captured by it. I could see through the mask he presented to the world, but I was still hoping I could make that mask a permanent one if I could just love him enough.

  "So how horribly boring are these parties usually?" I asked, breaking the silence.

  "They aren't too bad. It's just that my parents' friends are all really uptight. No one apparently knows how to have a good time, or at the very least they have forgotten."

  A short while later we pulled into the drive leading to Will's home. The iron gates swung open to reveal a tree-lined drive that curved slightly and circled up to the front of the stately home. Partially covered in ivy creeping up its walls, the house looked like something out of an architectural magazine. It screamed wealth.

  We entered the front door and could immediately hear an argument in progress. The voices were coming from the library, which was to the left of the entrance. To the right was a small sitting room currently set up to receive the guests who would be coming to the party.

  As we made our way across the foyer, the library doors opened and bounced off the walls with a loud crash. Will's mother Grace came out of the library with anger and hurt clear on her face. She forced a small smile for the two of us before quickly making her way up the stairs.

  Kevin, Will's dad, followed her out and, before he could pull his public face on, I saw the anger in his eyes. I drew in a shaky breath to steady my suddenly nervous and tight stomach.

  "I didn't know the two of you had arrived. Will, why don't you take your friend out back and show her around? Your mother will be back down in a few minutes. She's gone to change."

  With that dismissal, he turned around and went back inside the library while, with slight pressure to my back, Will led me through the house and out onto the back patio. He grabbed two bottles of water from one of the tables that had been set up and led me into the gardens.

  They were almost maze-like, with high hedges and stone pathways. There were arches with climbing roses not yet blooming, and others with honeysuckle growing on them. There was evidence of new plants pushing their way out of the ground, symbolizing a new start, a rebirth that occurred each year.

  He led me to a partially concealed wooden bench somewhere in the middle of the garden. It was a beautiful location, surrounded by blooming spring flowers that perfumed the air around us. "So how do you like the gardens?" he asked, pulling me down to the bench and putting his arm around me.

  "They're really beautiful. Were they here when your parents moved in, or did they put them in?" I asked.

  "The house has been in my father's family a long time, so this has been here for as long as I can remember. Every generation adds something, though, so the garden has changed, but I don't know how much. That's my mom's thing, not mine. I think it's about time for everyone to start arriving. Come on, I have to go play my part and then we can disappear for a while," he said, reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulling out a flask.

  After taking a deep drink from it, he handed it to me, and not wanting to make him mad today, I took a sip. The liquid burned its way down my throat and instantly made me nauseous. I coughed and handed the flask back to him, and he laughed at me. It made me feel embarrassed and very small.

  To distract myself I wondered what he meant by "play his part", but I was soon to find out. Apparently these parties were well orchestrated. Will opened the door and took coats from the arriving guests, then directed them to the hallway where Grace was waiting to greet everyone and direct them out to the back patio. I assumed Kevin was out back because I hadn't seen him at all since we had taken up our positions.

  I stayed with Will and endured the never-ending stream of curious stares. I tried not to interpret any of their looks, but there were a few even a five-year-old wouldn't have any trouble with. I was also trying to stay foc
used because that little sip of alcohol was definitely going to my head.

  There were the looks coming from people who obviously knew Will and were clearly interested in who I was. Then there were the looks from people who smiled politely, but were continuously looking down their noses at us. Those were the looks I tried to ignore. Not only because they were patently false people with their society faces on, but they also seemed very cold, and that kind of person could cut someone down in such a way he'd never feel the blood draining from his body.

  As soon as Will had finished his job, we made our way back outside. I assumed we would go back into the garden, but I had never been good at making predictions.

  To say I was nervous when we started circulating amongst the guests was an understatement. I was introduced around and I smiled and politely shook hands. Here there was a discernible difference between the genuinely warm and the cold, limp-fish handshakes.

  "Ah, so this is the girl who has captured your attention for the moment," a Mrs. Anderson said with her nose so far in the air she would be in danger of drowning if it rained.

  "Yes, ma'am. I met Victoria at my new school in Centerville," Will replied, with nothing in his voice that would say he took exception to what Mrs. Anderson had said.

  I fought to keep my expression neutral as she continued to scrutinize my face and, I was sure, my outfit as well. She was impeccably dressed in a black knee-length dress with white polka dots and matching shoes. I had the feeling she didn't think I measured up, and I admitted to myself I was out of my element here in Will's world and I would never truly be accepted.

  "Oh, that country school. You must absolutely detest it there with nothing to do and all of those farm children. I'm sure that you'll be happy when the year is over," she said, as if we "farm children" were carriers of the plague.

  "It is very small, but the benefits outweigh the fact that there is very little to do there. I hope you have a good time today," Will responded.

  "Oh, I'm sure that I will. Your parents' parties always provide some very entertaining moments. It's nice that those unbelievable accusations of a few months ago haven't put a damper on your spirit. I see Jane over there, and I must know how that daughter of hers is doing."

  With that, we were suddenly alone and I felt like I had been emotionally beaten. The few times I had tried to extricate my hand from his so I could escape the stares and comments of so many, he had only held on tighter. Now, as Will towed me to the garden, I wanted nothing more than for a big hole to open up at my feet so I could jump in and pull the earth over my head. Anger, embarrassment, and resentment were bubbling to the surface.

  He finally stopped at the same bench we had sat on earlier, only now I didn't find it very peaceful. "Now that that's over, we can spend a little time alone before we need to make another appearance for dinner," he said, acting as if nothing had happened.

  I stared at him for a moment, trying to order my suddenly scattered thoughts. Was he just oblivious to the embarrassment I'd just endured at the hands of people he knew, and who apparently knew him very well? Or did he just not care?

  "I'm not going to dinner. I was just ridiculed and embarrassed by all of those people and I'm not going to go and pretend that it didn't happen and endure more of it. Is that why you invited me? So you could show me off and let everyone tell me what a stupid little town I live in?"

  Will's face had gone from disbelief to anger by the time I had finished. I tried to remember the way out of the garden back to the safety of the patio, but I was having a little trouble thinking at the moment, probably in part because of the alcohol still making me feel funny. Will was slowly standing up from where he'd been seated on the bench, and I was slowly edging my way back toward what I was hoping was the way out.

  Before I could even turn to run, he had hold of my arm in a grip I was sure would leave a bruise before the day was over. He stared into my eyes and I cringed away from him, even though I hated doing it. His eyes were on fire and his face chiseled from stone. I had a sudden image of him in a black hoodie, but I pushed the confusing picture from my mind. Now was not the time.

  He leaned very close to me, grabbing my chin so I had to look at his face, and whispered forcefully, "How dare you question my motives for bringing you here? Yes, I wanted to show you off to my parents' friends, but that's because I love you, not because I wanted them to embarrass you. Now, you are going to dinner. Because I will not allow you to embarrass me."

  I felt him sink his fingers further into my arm and I gasped from the pain. He smiled, as if assuming that by hurting me, he could make me agree with him.

  "I'm sorry that you made me hurt you. I didn't mean to, but I really want you to stay for dinner. Come on, we'll go back to the party and see how soon dinner will be."

  Again, I was towed out of the garden. I was trying to figure out a way to leave the party and not end up with more bruises. I didn't believe him when he had sort of offered an apology for hurting me.

  "Have the two of you been hiding in the garden this whole time? I was just coming to find you," Grace said. "Will, I need you to go quietly announce to our guests that dinner will begin shortly. Some of them have wandered away here and there."

  I took the opportunity to speak in front of witnesses. "I'm sorry, but I can't stay for dinner," I said, feeling Will's hand tighten around my wrist. "My mom is going to come and pick me up so Will doesn't have to leave the party."

  "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that you had a good time while you were here," Grace replied.

  "Yes, thank you."

  "Well, we'll see you again soon then. Will, the guests. I'll see Victoria out."

  Will stiffly turned away and went to gather the guests, but the look in his eyes gave me a chill.

  Grace escorted me as far as the kitchen. I hurried through the rest of the house to the front door. I had my cell out and was dialing my mom by the time I stepped off the bottom step. I thought if I made it to the street I would be safe.

  My mom answered the phone just as I reached the end of the drive. I must have run down the whole thing and hadn't even realized it. "Victoria? Is everything okay?" she asked.

  "Yeah, but can you come and get me? Will and I had a fight and I don't want to stay here."

  "Of course I'll come and get you."

  "I've already left and started walking toward home. I'm sure that you'll see me."

  "Well, you could have waited at his house for me to come and get you. I don't like the idea of you walking home, even if it is only part way," she said, sounding concerned. I heard the truck start in the background and knew she was already on her way. I blew out a breath of relief and the tension in my belly started to ease a little bit.

  "Honey, are you sure that you're okay? You sound upset," my mom said.

  "I'll be okay," I said, ending the conversation, but keeping my phone in my hand.

  It wasn't a complete lie, but it still wasn't the whole truth, either. I hated lying to her. She'd made sure we had a very open relationship so I'd feel comfortable telling her anything, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell her about what had been happening with Will. I was too embarrassed I had let myself get into this situation, and I needed to be the one to get myself out of it.

  I turned to look over my shoulder at the sound of every approaching car, nervous it would be him. Then I heard a car approaching and it was slowing down.

  My heart was hammering in my chest and I started to walk faster. I thought about kicking off my sandals and running, but with my luck I would end up falling flat on my face. I heard a horn honk and then someone yelled my name, but it wasn't Will's voice. I looked over to see a truck, with the one person I never expected to see sitting behind the wheel.

  Chapter Nine

  Noah was looking at me with a confused expression and I was able to give him a small smile. I walked over to the curb where his truck was idling and peered in through the open window.

  "Are you just out enjoying th
e fresh air? Do you need a ride?" he asked.

  "No, I called Mom and she's on her way to get me. What are you doing in Fairview?" I asked, confused.

  "I had to run in to pick something up for my dad. Seriously, what are you doing?"

  "I had a fight with Will," I said, not wanting to share any details.

  "I can't say that I'm not happy about that," he said with the same half-smile that had always sent my heart racing. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine. Like I said, I called Mom and she's on her way to pick me up. I told her that I was walking, so she'll be here soon." I smiled back at him genuinely.

  I heard another vehicle slow down. I assumed it was my mom and she had seen me, but as I looked to the back of Noah's truck, I saw a shiny black car and knew things had just gone from bad to worse.

  Will got out and slammed the door shut so forcefully that the car wobbled. I felt rather than saw Noah get out of his truck and circle around the front of it to stand slightly behind me. I felt better with him there, but I also didn't want him to witness or get involved with what might happen next.

  "So this is who you called to come and get you?" he yelled. "I can't believe that you would do this to me. First you embarrass me by running out of the party, and now I come to find out that… what? You're cheating on me behind my back?"

  I was shaking my head during his whole speech and hoping things wouldn't escalate from where they were. "No, I called my mom to come and get me. Noah was driving by and saw me walking. He was just wondering if I needed anything. There's nothing going on, I swear."

  "Yeah, right. No wonder you couldn't wait to get out of there," he said, starting toward me.

  I instinctively started to back up and bumped into Noah, who grabbed my upper arms so I wouldn't fall. I winced from the pain his gentle touch had caused, and he noticed. "What's wrong? Did he hurt you?" Noah hoarsely asked.

  I shook my head, not taking my eyes from a still-advancing Will. I perceived him to be the real threat at the moment and I didn't want Noah getting hurt.

  "You need to stop right where you are," said Noah, stepping around me. "It's obvious that she's scared of you right now and I would love to know why. Then maybe I'd have an actual reason to beat the crap out of you."