Beginnings of the Heart Read online

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” I said, still embarrassed. He didn’t seem to be affected at all, which bothered me a little bit.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow. I have to help my dad in the morning, but I’ll be free after. Think about what you might want to do.”

  He leaned in and gave me a brief but fierce kiss. He waited until I got the door of the house open and then he left.

  As I lay there staring up at the ceiling, I couldn’t help but be plagued by doubts. How could he love someone so plain? There were other girls in school who were so beautiful it made your teeth ache. Why me? What did he see in me?

  I was startled out of my reverie by the shrill ring of my cell phone. I dove for it on my bedside table.

  “Hello?” I said a little breathlessly.

  “Hey. How’re you doing?” Cole asked.

  “I’m good. Are you done helping your dad for the day?” I asked him.

  “Yeah, I finished up a little while ago. I had to take a shower and get something to eat, but now I’m all yours for the rest of the day and night.” He said teasingly.

  “I’d like you around longer, but I’m not sure you could stand it.”

  “I’ll never get tired of you Morgan. So, what do you want to do? We have the rest of the day.”

  “Umm, why don’t you come down here for a little while? My mom started in on one of her ‘you’re spending too much time with him’ tirades. It might be better if we stayed in town for at least part of the day. We could take a walk down to the creek if you want.” I found I was holding my breath a little while I waited for his answer.

  Hanging out at my house or anywhere near it was never on the top of either of our lists.

  “Sounds good to me. As long as I get to take you out tonight and do something else. We could go for ice cream or something.” Cole said.

  “Okay. I’m sure it’ll be alright. My mom’ll be pleased at least if we’re in town for part of the day.”

  “You know, you’re always doing things to make your parents happy. Have you ever thought about doing things for you?”

  “I do.” I said.

  “Only when it’s been approved by your parents. I’ll see you in about twenty minutes. Love you.” Cole said.

  “Love you more.” I said and hung up the phone.

  Cole arrived, and I went to open the front door for him. My mom lifted her head from the book she was reading on the couch in the living room to look out of the window to see who was there. When she saw Cole, her eyes narrowed slightly and she pursed her lips, but before she could say anything, I turned to her.

  “I know you wanted me to stay around home today so Cole decided to come down here. We’re just going to take a walk and see who’s around.”

  “I guess. I expect you won’t be gone for too long?” Mom asked.

  “I’ll be home before dinner.” I said and almost ran out the door before she could say anything else.

  I met Cole on the sidewalk in front of the house. He took my hand and bent to brush his lips across mine. The simple gesture set off a firestorm in my mind and made my heart begin to race. He gave my hand a little tug to get me moving.

  We had walked halfway to the corner before either of us spoke.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked me. “You’re kind of quiet.”

  “No, I’m fine. I’m still… I don’t know, embarrassed I guess. I mean, it’s like everything changed last night, but I don’t really feel any different. It’s going to take some time for me to get my head wrapped around it.” I said.

  “Has anyone ever said you overthink things.” Cole said with a cocky smile on his face. “The only things you need to remember are my feelings for you haven’t changed at all and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And before you start worrying everyone is going to know, no one will unless we tell them and we aren’t going to.” Cole said.

  “I guess you’re right. Anyway, what do you want to do? There really isn’t a whole lot here.”

  “I know, but as long as I can spend time with you I don’t care. Let’s go down to the creek and talk some more. Maybe I can convince you to think like me on other topics.” He said, laughing.

  “You may have to work a little harder than you think. I do tend to overthink everything. I might not come around as quickly as you believe.” I said, smiling.

  We made our way down to the creek winding its way through town and found a quiet spot under some trees. Their branches stretched out over the water as it babbled over the smooth stones lining the bottom.

  We sat down on the soft grass, and I slipped off my flip flops and dangled my feet in the water. It felt cool in the hot afternoon and raised goose bumps on my arms and legs. Cole leaned back against a tree and crooked his finger at me. I went to sit beside him. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me.

  “You know.” Cole’s voice broke into my thoughts. “I’m kind of glad last night happened. And not for the reasons you think. Maybe now you’ll realize my love for you is not the fickle thing you assume it to be. I’m hoping you realize I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re right.” I grudgingly admitted after a minute of thinking. “I was scared you would get tired of me and move on to someone else. I still am. I don’t want you to go anywhere and needing you so much is… I don’t know. When I think about it I hear my mother’s voice in my head saying I’m too young to be this serious about a boy, but I try to silence her voice as much as I can. Is there something wrong with being in love and knowing what you want at our age?”

  “I don’t think so, but I am a little biased. Listen, the only people who need to worry about us is us. I know our parents have their own opinions about things, but when it comes down to it, we’re the ones making decisions about what we want our relationship to be like.”

  I looked up at his face and asked, “What do your parents think about all of this? They must have some opinion. Do they like me?”

  He chuckled before answering. “Yes they like you, but they would like to get to know you better. Their opinion is if I’m happy and not doing anything stupid, everything’s okay. Last night would rank in their stupid category. We can’t let it happen again.”

  “I know. I don’t want to be labeled as ‘that girl’.”

  “I don’t want you to be either. My parents have a slightly different perspective than yours. They started dating when my mom was thirteen and my dad was sixteen, so they understand my feelings for you. They haven’t forgotten what it’s like to meet someone and know you’re meant to be with them forever.”

  “They know how you feel about me? You talk to them about this?” He nodded his head while he looked into my eyes. “Wow, the one time I tried to talk to Mom about you she went into an hour long speech about how I was too young to really know how I felt and I should just keep my options open.” I said, slightly stunned parents could be so open with their kids.

  “Your options open? Let me guess, she thinks you shouldn’t date anyone until college or after, and then you can get serious about someone, right?”

  “Yeah.” I said into his shoulder. “I just don’t see what her problem is. She and my dad met in high school and got married right after my mom graduated. I think they’re happy so I don’t get why she dismisses my feelings as a mere crush. I know it isn’t, and I certainly don’t want it to go away.”

  “I think your mom wants for you what she didn’t get for herself. She’s in the same town she grew up in and never left. Or maybe she wants to live vicariously through your experiences in college.” He said.

  I looked at him, thinking about what he said. It made a lot of sense and my mom had said things similar before, but I hadn’t paid a lot of attention.

  “I think you’re right. You should be a psychologist or something. You’re really good at this.”

  “I actually thought about it, but I don’t think I could listen to people all day long every day and still be a happy individual.” He finished with a smile.
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  “What do you want to do? I don’t think you ever told me.” I asked.

  “Well, before I met you I was thinking of going out west somewhere and working on a ranch and learning the business. I’d like to own property someday, and I don’t want to mismanage it.”

  “And now? Are you still thinking of going away?” I asked. My breath was being choked off at the mere thought of being away from him.

  “Now I’m not so sure. I know I can learn the basics of running a ranch by doing other things, and I really don’t want to leave you alone for any length of time. Your mom will warp your mind, and I wouldn’t be here to straighten it back out.” Cole smiled.

  He was right. Before having Cole in my life and especially before this summer, I took whatever my mom said at face value. I never really thought about what she said or questioned it. Now I did and was finding I had my own opinions on certain subjects and they were not always in line with hers. I still didn’t have the confidence to disagree with her when she was shoving these opinions down my throat, but I no longer just accepted them either.

  The afternoon passed far too quickly. As promised I was home in time for dinner. I didn’t realize how quiet I was until my sister Samantha nudged me under the table at dinner.

  “Morgan, did you hear me? I asked what you were doing tonight?” my mother asked.

  “Oh…umm, Cole wanted to go get ice cream if it’s okay.” I answered her automatically.

  “Fine, Morgan. Just be sure you’re home on time.” My father answered me while he looked at my mom.

  She was looking at him with her jaw clenched tight, and I briefly wondered why. I didn’t dwell on it, however, because I wanted to finish dinner and go call Cole to see when he would be here to get me.

  I was still thinking about all of the revelations from the afternoon, and I needed some space away from my family to figure it all out. Smiling, I realized Cole would say I was overthinking things again. I couldn’t seem help myself.

  Chapter Three

  What was left of the summer flew by. Before either of us knew it soccer season started and since we were both playing, we didn’t get to see each other as much. I practiced for three hours in the morning and his was right after mine. We were both ready for school to start so we could actually see each other again.

  As it turned out our classrooms were close to each other so we could see each other between classes and we had the same study hall. Luckily, we were still both free on the weekends. We went up to our clearing, as we thought of it, every chance we got.

  Soccer came to a close at the end of October, and neither team made sectionals so we were done until spring. I was looking forward to my sixteenth birthday and Cole’s and my one year anniversary together. They were only two weeks apart so we wanted to celebrate them together.

  My parents hadn’t relaxed a whole lot, but they were going to let Cole take me out to dinner and a movie. My sister helped me get ready. When she was done, I hardly recognized myself.

  Samantha had somehow gotten my hair to hold a curl and then pulled it back away from my face. I was wearing black leggings and a turquoise sweater with a scooped neck. Samantha had even gotten me to wear makeup which wasn’t something I usually did.

  I don’t know why I was so nervous. It’s not like we hadn’t been out together before. Maybe it was the two-inch heels Samantha was making me wear as well. I was very nervous I was going to fall flat on my face.

  “You look very nice, Morgan. I hope you and Cole have a nice time tonight. Just remember to be back on time.” My dad said.

  I nodded my head at the same moment there was a knock on the front door. I wondered if my dad knew Cole was there and was trying to avoid a confrontation.

  My sister let Cole in, and then all I could see was him. How anyone could not stare at him was beyond me. He was dressed in a charcoal grey sweater and black pants. His smile took my breath away.

  “Good evening Mr. Taylor, Mrs. Taylor.”

  I stepped over to him and took his hand in mine, not only because I couldn’t stand not touching him, but I was also afraid I was going to fall because of the shoes I was wearing.

  “Cole, I hope you two have a good time tonight. I was just reminding Morgan about her curfew.” My dad said.

  “I’ll have her home on time, and I won’t let anything happen to her.” Cole said.

  This was the typical exchange my father and Cole had every time we were going further than the town limits.

  Once we were outside and walking to Cole’s truck I took a deep breath and let the tension from my house leave my body. I heard Cole exhale as well and wondered if he was doing the same.

  After we both were in the truck he looked over at me and said, “You look really nice tonight. Samantha got her hands on you, didn’t she?”

  I smiled and nodded my head.

  “Well, I’ll have to remember to say thank you the next time I see her.”

  “Don’t expect it again. You have no idea how long it took to get my hair to stay like this. I have more product in my hair right now than I’ve ever had before. I’m not sure it’s actually going to move until I wash it all out later.” I said, laughing.

  It was easier to relax with him when we were all alone. I felt self-conscious if we did more than hold hands in front of other people, especially my parents. I slid across the front seat of the truck to sit next to him as we drove to Riverside. We had decided to go to The Black Stone again.

  Once he parked the truck, he got out, and I slid out the same door behind him. We reached for each other’s hands and walked inside.

  I really liked this restaurant. It had a monstrous fireplace in the center of the back wall heating the room during the fall and winter and it created a very welcoming feeling. We were shown to a little round table to the right of the fireplace.

  I looked at Cole… the suspicion clear to read on my face.

  “I may have requested a certain table. You can’t blame me for wanting to make this a special night. And I know you get cold.” He responded to my unvoiced question.

  “Thank you.” I said, smiling. “It was very thoughtful, but you didn’t have to.”

  “Yes I did. Someone has to be happy about you turning sixteen other than you. And it’s our anniversary so I wanted to make this memorable.”

  “They aren’t unhappy about my birthday. They just didn’t want me to have a party is all. They still wished me a happy birthday and got me a gift. And my dad is taking me to get my driver’s permit tomorrow, so it’s not like they’re ignoring it.” I said.

  “Why do you do it?” Cole asked.

  “Do what?” I asked.

  His brow was slightly furrowed as he looked back at me.

  “Defend them.” Cole said.

  I stared at him with confusion. I really didn’t understand what he was talking about.

  “Whenever your parents, your mother in particular, do something hurtful, you find a reason to lessen the sting. It’s how you cope with the disappointment.” Cole said.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to become a psychologist?” I asked wryly.

  Smiling he said, “Don’t get mad. It was just an observation and one I shouldn’t have made tonight. I want you to remember dinner and being happy.” he replied.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll obsess about it later, but you’re right. I want to have a good time tonight.” I smiled at him.

  After dinner Cole had a surprise for me. He slid a long, skinny, black velvet box across the table to me.

  I just looked at it and then at him.

  “Open it. It isn’t going to bite.”

  I picked the gift up and opened it. Inside on the cream colored satin lining laid a charm bracelet. Its links sparkled in the firelight behind me, and it already had a charm hanging from it. A shiny black stone swung slightly back and forth from the bracelet.

  “Do you like it?” Cole asked.

  “I love it. I can’t tell you how much.” My voic
e sounded strained and whisper soft.

  Cole leaned across the table and helped me put it on then held onto my hand.

  “I got the stone from the river and had it made into a charm. I thought I could add to the bracelet with the different things we go through together.”

  My eyes started to tear up I was so overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness. How did I deserve him?

  He squeezed the hand he still held and smiled at me.

  When we started on the road back toward town I looked up at him from my place by his side.

  “Aren’t we going to the movies? Did I miss something?” I asked more than a little confused.

  “No, I just thought you would like to be alone more than you would like to see a movie.” He responded with an easy smile.

  “I would much rather be with you for a while than go to a movie, but where are we going exactly? I know we aren’t going back to my house.”

  “My parents are out for the night. They won’t be back until after midnight, by which time I’ll have you back home so you don’t miss your curfew.”

  “You had this all planned didn’t you?” I asked, both surprised and suspicious. “Do your parents know you’re playing them tonight?”

  “No. This would rank in their stupid category, but they aren’t going to find out. Unlike you, I don’t have any neighbors who are going to blow the whistle. Are you okay with going to my house? I didn’t think you would mind, but if you’d rather go somewhere else…?”

  He left the question unfinished. “No, I’m fine going to your house. I just didn’t think we would be alone tonight.”

  We pulled into the driveway of Cole’s house a short time later. His house was always one I enjoyed looking at. It was a big farmhouse with a wraparound porch, a swing and rocking chairs sided in a dark green with cream colored shutters and trim. His was the kind of house I had always wanted to live in.

  The house was out of town with no prying neighbors’ eyes, and it just seemed so peaceful. You couldn’t hear the traffic or other noises associated with town life. Out here you only heard the crickets and other sounds of nature. It was perfect.