Bruises of the Heart Read online

  "See you tomorrow." I waved from the door.

  I closed the door and turned around with the intention of going back to my room and starting my homework. My mom was still standing in the middle of the living room, looking at me with her arms crossed. "Victoria, are you sure that you're ready to date?"

  "Honestly, Mom, I don't know. But Will is the first guy since Noah that I even have a slight interest in, and Noah has moved on, so I might as well, too. Right?"

  She smiled at me. "I guess so. I just worry about you is all. Being your mom, it just comes naturally. Do you know what the two of you are going to do yet?" she asked.

  "No. He's going to pick me up around seven. We'll probably just see a movie or something." I smiled back at her.

  "Well, I hope that you have a good time. You deserve to go out and have some fun," she said, then turned to go to the kitchen and start dinner.

  I escaped into my room and tried to concentrate enough on my homework. My thoughts were disjointed, and I had to keep dragging myself back to studying.

  Sleeping wasn't much better. My dreams were all very strange and they all featured the same person in the starring role. If Will was taking over my dreams, how was I going to feel about him being in my life? But maybe I was getting a little ahead of myself. After all, it's just one date. How bad could it be?

  Chapter Two

  School the next day flew by faster than I wanted it to. The closer it got to my date, the faster the time on the clock seemed to move. Before I knew it there were headlights pulling up to the cabin, and then I could hear his footsteps on the porch.

  I leapt to open the door before he had even finished knocking, smiling automatically when I saw his face. "Hey," I said, a little breathless. "Come on in and I'll get my coat."

  "Thanks."

  "This is my mom, Morgan. Mom, this is Will."

  "Hello, Morgan, it's nice to meet you." Will said.

  "It's nice to meet you as well, Will. I hope that you found the cabin okay. Sometimes people have a little trouble finding the right drive," she said.

  "Oh, well, Victoria drew me a map when she gave me directions. I'm not sure I would have made it otherwise."

  "You two have a good time tonight. Victoria, remember."

  "I will, Mom. See you later," I said, surprising her by giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

  Will opened the door of a very nice, very shiny black car for me. After we were back out on the highway, he glanced over and smiled at me. "You and your mom seem to be really close. Was she trying to remind you about a curfew or something?"

  "You mean the 'remember' comment?"

  He nodded.

  "It's something that we have been doing for a long time. She just likes to remind me that she loves me. It used to be 'remember that I love you,' and then when it got embarrassing for her to tell me that in front of my friends, she shortened it to just 'remember'." I gave him a grin.

  "That's nice. Is it just you and your mom?"

  "Ahh…"

  "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I was just wondering," Will said.

  "No, it's not a secret or anything. It's just a really long story."

  "I've got time. I realize we don't know each other that well, but I'd like to get to know you a lot better," he said, flashing the smile that I was beginning to crave.

  "Well, my mom got pregnant with me when she was sixteen, and her family wasn't really supportive. She moved in with my dad and his parents when I was only a few months old. My dad, Cole, went into the Army after he graduated and then my parents got married on Christmas Eve when my mom was a senior in high school. I was two. My dad was shipping out overseas and he wanted me and my mom to be taken care of." I paused in my story and looked over at Will.

  He was sitting rather calmly, looking out the front window. He didn't show any signs my story had offended him in any way. I was used to my personal history being public knowledge in Centerville, but it felt weird to be telling it to someone I barely knew.

  "So what happened after that?" he asked.

  "Well, my dad was killed, and then it was just me and Mom. She moved us into the cabin a few months later and we've been there ever since," I finished.

  "Wow, so it really has just been you and your mom," he said.

  "Yeah, but it hasn't been bad or anything. Mom's really cool and she gives me a lot of space," I said, briefly wondering why I was sharing so much with him.

  "So what does your mom do for a living? I'm sure she didn't go to college if she had you."

  A little voice in the back of my mind started whispering then, but it wasn't loud, so I ignored it. "Actually, she has an Associate's degree from Lincoln County Community College in office administration. It took her three years, but she finished." I smiled at him, even though I was a little offended.

  "Where were you when she was going to school? I mean, did she go at night or during the day?"

  "She took classes when she could and I stayed with my grandparents. They live just a little way from the cabin. In fact, the cabin is actually theirs. My grandfather offered it to my mom after my dad died. She needed to get out of the house. There were too many memories there, she said." I grimaced.

  We drove in silence for a few minutes. I wasn't sure what Will was thinking. He looked over at me and smiled, then reached over and took my hand.

  "I don't think we should go to the movies anymore. Let's go find someplace where we can talk some more. You don't mind, do you?"

  "Oh, um, I guess not," I said, a little disappointed. I'd been looking forward to seeing the movie, but I didn't want to be a downer, either. I was finally feeling happy again and I knew it was because of Will.

  We went to a little diner in Riverside and sat there talking for the rest of the night. My head was spinning by the time he dropped me back off at the cabin. We had agreed to see each other again the next day, and I couldn't have been more excited.

  Will was everything I had hoped. He was so solicitous — holding doors open for me, keeping his hand on the small of my back when we walked, and picking up the check. He was interested in me, and it was a heady feeling after being so depressed for all those months.

  We kissed at my front door, and when I went inside, my head was still spinning. My stomach felt like it was full of little wings and my heart was about to leap from my chest.

  "Do I even need to ask how your date was?" Mom asked from the couch. I looked up to where she was curled on the couch with a book and gave her a radiant smile.

  "I guess you had a good time. Are you going to see him again soon?"

  "Tomorrow."

  Mom's face showed her surprise, but I didn't want to talk about it then. I was still riding the tide of happiness I had come through the door on. "He's going to call in the morning and then come over. We're going to do some homework and then maybe go out to dinner," I said before she could voice her surprise.

  My mom took a deep breath before saying anything. "I'm glad you had a good time, and if he makes you happy, then it's nice to know that you're getting to know him better." She was obviously not saying what she had originally intended to say.

  "Good night." I smiled to her and walked quickly to my bedroom before she could say anything else. I wanted to relish the happy feelings still coursing through my veins, chasing away the unpleasant memories of the last three months.

  As I got ready for bed, I let the events of the night wash through my mind and only then realized that even though we had spent all night talking, I still didn't really know anything about Will. He had kept asking questions about me and school. I'd never had a chance to ask any of my own. I'd have to make sure to start our question-and-answer session with a few for him.

  I dressed the next morning with more care than I normally would have for a Saturday. Instead of my usual pajama pants and long sleeved t-shirt, I put on a pair of jeans and my dark red turtleneck sweater, one of my favorites that I thought looked really good on me.

&nbs
p; Tara called, and I told her all about my date. She was happy for me, but a little disappointed that I didn't have any new information to share with her. She was still irritated that she hadn't been able to find anything new and gossip-worthy about Will, especially the reasons behind his possible expulsion from his other school and why he'd enrolled at our school instead of somewhere else. Somewhere that might have been a little more interesting for him.

  I waited all morning for him to call. To pass the time, I cleaned my room and even helped clean the cabin, which surprised my mom. I was starting to get irritated when he finally called.

  "Hey, Victoria. Sorry I didn't call earlier, but my dad and I sort of got into it a little. Do you mind if I come over now? I'd still really like to see you," he asked, sounding a little depressed.

  "Yeah, that would be great. I'd like to see you too," I said, grinning into the phone.

  "Okay, I'll be there in about half an hour. Bye," he said and hung up.

  I hung the phone up, not really knowing what to think. I could understand the depressed mood, especially if he'd had an argument with his dad. Who wouldn't be depressed about that? Most parents knew exactly what to say to get you angry. My mom tried to never push my buttons. We had our arguments, but nothing like some of my friends had with their parents.

  I hovered at the front windows, and my heart started slamming inside my chest when I saw his car coming up the drive. I was able to keep myself from ripping the door open when he came to a stop, but just barely. I made myself wait until he was on the porch before I opened the door.

  "Hey," I said.

  "Hey." He smiled. He didn't look depressed. He didn't really look upset at all. Maybe he'd had time on his drive to put things into perspective.

  I stepped to the side so he could walk inside and closed the door behind him, then led the way to the couch. I sank down into one of the corners and sat facing him in the middle. "So it occurred to me that even though we spent the night talking, I don't really know that much about you," I began. "Tell me something that I don't know."

  "Wow, that's kind of a long list. Umm, okay. I'm an only child and my mom has always been at home and my dad is in real estate. He and I don't really see eye-to-eye on a lot of things." He grimaced.

  "What's your mom like? Do you guys get along?" I asked, while trying to keep the thudding in my chest at a reasonable level.

  He pulled my feet into his lap before answering me. "My mom is really quiet. She and I have always gotten along really well, but that might be because she leaves me alone to do my own thing. Your mom kind of leaves you alone, too, right?" he asked, rubbing my feet.

  "Yeah, she's sort of like that. Mom's been hovering a little more than usual over the last couple of months, but that's only because I went through sort of a bad breakup. Other than that, she gives me my space, but she's always there if I need her."

  "Is she here now, or do we have this little place to ourselves?" he asked, looking at me from under his impossibly long lashes.

  "She's down at the house for a while visiting with my grandparents. She tries to walk down there every Saturday to see how everything is going. I don't know why, because she sees my grandfather every day at work."

  "How long do you think she'll be gone for?" He threaded his fingers through mine.

  "Probably another hour or so. My grandmother has a new project she's working on and if she can, she'll rope my mom into helping her—"

  Will's lips silenced me. I suddenly found myself pinned to the couch under his body, and the thrill of it swept through my veins.

  The kisses grew more heated and soon I wanted to end this… whatever this was, but when I pushed against his chest, he pressed closer to me so I couldn't shove anymore. I ripped my lips away from his and sucked in a breath to tell him to get off, but he crushed his mouth back on top of mine. After a moment I could taste blood where my teeth were cutting into the tender flesh inside my mouth.

  I felt his hand paw under my sweater and grope toward my chest. My blood was no longer warmed but chilled, and my stomach clenched in fear. My hands were still pinned between our bodies and when he lifted off slightly, I pushed with everything I had.

  "Stop," I ground out.

  "What are you doing?" he asked, sounding frustrated.

  "I should be asking the same thing. What the heck do you think you're doing?" I asked, getting out from under him and off the couch as quickly as possible.

  "I thought you liked me."

  "I do like you, but you're moving a little fast for me," I said from in front of the fireplace.

  "No wonder your last boyfriend broke up with you," he mumbled.

  I felt like he had kicked me in the stomach, but I couldn't find it in myself to become angry. If I did, would he leave me too? I didn't want to be alone again, and aside from the brief moment of uneasiness, he made me happy.

  "Why he broke up with me doesn't really have anything to do with this. I just think you were moving a little too fast," I said carefully.

  "It's okay. I should probably get going anyway."

  "Do you have to? I mean, we could find something to do if you wanted to stay," I said.

  "No, I really do need to get going. I should go make peace with my dad," he said, standing up and walking to the door.

  "Oh, okay," I said, following behind him through the door and out onto the porch.

  "I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can do something in the afternoon," he said.

  "I'd like that."

  He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss, and then bounded down the steps to his car. He turned to wave before he got in and closed the door. I stood on the porch until I couldn't see his car anymore and then went back into the welcoming warmth of the house.

  The voice in the back of my head was whispering to me about all of this not being quite right, but I didn't want to pay any attention to it. I was too concerned about what would happen if Will left me, too. I didn't know if I could go through another breakup so soon after losing Noah. What was wrong with me, anyway?

  Chapter Three

  The next week passed like any other one, and Will acted like nothing had happened between us. I didn't say anything, either. I was feeling even happier than before and didn't want to remind myself or him of what had happened.

  I may not have been saying anything, but the voice in my head wasn't letting me forget it, either. Other than him moving way too fast, there was something else that made me feel like another shoe was going to drop. I just wanted to be ready to catch it if it did.

  Tara's voice broke into my thoughts. "Hey, you've been really quiet. What's going on?"

  "Nothing. I was just thinking about Will," I said.

  Tara smiled at me in an understanding way. Even though she was a terrible gossip, she was truly a romantic at heart and she was reveling in this new love of mine. Maybe more than I was. "Aw, you guys are so cute. He's always waiting for you outside of class and grabbing your hand. He must really like you, because he is so attentive. I'm not sure that I would like him hanging around as much as he does, but I'm not you," she finished.

  "He's not around any more than Noah ever was," I said a little defensively.

  "I know, but somehow it feels different. Do you know what I mean?"

  I looked at her, wondering how much she could read in my eyes. I forced my face to remain passive because I did know what she meant. Tara was my best friend, but besides my mom, she was the last person on earth I wanted to tell my present concerns to. Especially since I was doing my best to ignore the voice in the back of my head, getting louder and more insistent by the day, that something wasn't quite right with my relationship.

  I just shrugged in answer to her question, then turned my attention to Ms. Thomas and tried to take notes to keep my grade from slipping too far. The downside of spending so much time with Will was I had a lot less time to do my homework and study. Will was insistent we give each other our undivided attention, but I couldn't help feeling I was giving way more
than he was.

  I let my eyes wander around the room and noticed Noah looking at me. He gave me a half-smile, then refocused back to the front of the room. I continued to stare at him longer than I should have before I glanced back at my notebook. Too many questions were tumbling through my mind, but I hurriedly pushed them to the back of my head and decided to deal with them later.

  "What are your plans this weekend?" Tara asked as the bell rang.

  "Hanging out with Will. What are you doing?"

  "I was going to see if you wanted to go shopping on Saturday. Come on, we haven't done anything in weeks."

  "I'll talk to him and let you know. I don't know if he's planned anything specific," I added hastily.

  Tara looked at me like she didn't know me. "Since when do you need his permission to do anything?"

  "I don't need his permission. I just don't want to ruin any of the plans he might have made is all," I said.

  I could tell Tara wanted to say more, but just then Will came up and put his arm around my shoulders and leaned down for a quick kiss.

  For the rest of the day Tara remained quiet — so unusual for her. It started to make me nervous. I was so used to her talking. What was even more unsettling was her constant and intense scrutiny. I was sure she could see all of my uncertainties and I was becoming more panicky by the second.

  I was so grateful and relieved when the final dismissal bell rang, I was almost weak. I gathered my things as quickly as I could and then left class before she was able to corner me.

  I was almost running by the time I made it to the doors leading to the student parking lot when a hand caught me by the arm. I turned around, dreading the discussion to come, and was struck silent by a pair of ice-blue eyes.

  "Why are you in such a big hurry? Have a big date to get ready for?" Noah grinned at me.

  I couldn't seem to form a coherent enough thought to answer him. I missed him and the way he teased me so much that it hurt. His hand slid down my arm and squeezed my hand before letting it drop.

  I reflexively gave him a smile and I knew without being told this one reached my eyes. I could feel it radiating through my whole body. Then I thought I would turn to ice when a hand closed around my upper arm in a painful grip.