Bruises of the Heart Read online

  "I hope so, because I'm not sure I can do this again tomorrow. My head is pounding, and walking up the stairs was not as easy as I remember it being. In fact, I'm pretty sure my ribs weren't just cracked, but broken. The doctors must have missed it on the x-rays."

  She just laughed and gently put a blanket over me. I assumed she would be going back to work, but I heard her pull out a chair at the kitchen table instead. I would have asked what she was doing, but I fell asleep before I could.

  I woke up some time later to the sound of lowered voices talking in the kitchen. Shifting myself carefully, I looked over the back of the sofa to see who was talking and found myself smiling. My mom and Noah were sitting at the table, having a comfortable chat.

  That was why I loved my mom so much. She treated my friends and my boyfriend like real people. I knew from others that their parents were nowhere near as comfortable around their friends, and everyone who met my mom told me how cool she was.

  Noah glanced over at the couch and his face lit up with a smile. "Hey, sleepyhead. Did you have a good nap?"

  "I guess. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you still be in school?"

  "It's almost four o'clock. You've slept most of the day," Noah said, getting up to come and sit on the couch with me. "Your mom told me that you were going to wait until Monday to go back."

  "Yeah, after today I think that would be for the best. By Monday I should be feeling a lot better, and I won't mind the fact that everyone is staring at me. My face has to look better by then, right?"

  "You're beautiful no matter how many bruises you might have, but if we could try to minimize the number, that would be very much appreciated. Was it horrible today?" Noah asked.

  "I think I was more bothered by all of the attention than the pain, but in the end the pain won out. Did you hear anything after I left?"

  "I heard nothing, but Tara will have heard more than I would have, anyway. You know how she is," Noah said, taking my hand.

  "She has a gift. How was your day? I didn't get to talk to you," I said, squeezing his hand.

  "It was good. I was worried about you, though, like I always am. Did you name the foal yet?"

  "Midnight. My grandma was in full agreement. She's beautiful. I can't wait to help train her."

  We spent the rest of our time together talking and doing homework. When I started to get tired, he left with the promise to come back after school tomorrow.

  I got ready for bed — with a little help — and actually slept in my own room that night. It felt so good to slide in between the crisp cotton sheets that still smelled like the sun they'd been dried in.

  After taking as deep a breath as I could, sleep came quickly, but I wasn't allowed to remain blissfully unaware in sleep's comforting embrace. The old, terrifying dream was back. It was slightly different, but no less frightening as the images formed and invaded my sleep state.

  I was walking down the center aisle of the barn toward Lily's stall when an un-hooded Will stepped out of the shadows at the end of the barn. Stopping so quickly I stumbled, I felt the cold fear start to creep over my limbs, rooting me to the spot.

  Will smiled sadistically and started down the aisle toward me. I tried to move, to open my mouth and scream, but I stood still and no sound emerged from the parched recesses of my mouth.

  "Victoria, I told you that this wasn't over yet," he jeered.

  I finally managed to turn around and ran into something very solid, but warm. Looking up, I saw ice-blue eyes as hard as diamonds focused on Will, not me. He knew I was scared, and that was why my avenging angel has come to save me.

  Without saying a word, he pushed me behind him and took a step forward. I grabbed the back of his shirt — not because I didn't want to be left behind, but because I was scared for him. I didn't know what I would do if anything happened to him.

  Will pulled his hand from behind his back, brought up a pistol, and aimed it at Noah. I tried to scream a warning, but there was no sound. I watched, paralyzed, as he pulled the trigger and Noah staggered backward.

  I was suddenly staring at the ceiling of my room, drenched in sweat. The scream I hadn't been able to get out in the dream was dying in the still night air, and I could hear my mom's feet quickly approaching my room.

  "I'm fine," I said, carefully sitting up as the door flew open. "Just a really bad dream is all."

  "Are you sure? It sounded like you were in pain. Is there something that you need?" she asked.

  "No, nothing."

  "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "Not really. I'd like to forget about it, actually," I said, not wanting her to know I was terrified.

  "Okay, well… if you need anything, all you have to do is just call out and I'll be here," she said, smiling at me.

  "Thanks."

  I lied carefully back down and tried to calm my frantically beating heart. I was terrified that somehow my dream was some kind of vision that would come true, and I would lose Noah just like my mom had lost my dad. Only I wouldn't have a baby to remember him by like Mom did.

  Hoping that something bad wasn't going to happen was useless. With Will still out there somewhere and the police not able to find him at any of the properties from the list his father was finally forced to give them, the case was at a standstill until someone saw him and reported it.

  Dozing on and off was the best I could do for the rest of the night. I saw the sun rise. Never before had I really appreciated it quite like that morning. What an incredible sight. I was truly thankful to still be around to see it.

  After struggling to get ready for another day of sitting on the couch, I received what was becoming the daily lecture about locking all the doors and not going out until someone else came by. Once my mom left, I started on the schoolwork I was getting further behind on and waited for school to let out so I could get the scoop from Tara. I was sure she would be by today, and I was hoping she would distract me from the memories of the dream still flitting around the periphery of my mind.

  True to herself, Tara never disappointed. She went on and on about who was dating who and what everyone thought about the fact Noah and I were back together. There were also a few tidbits about what everyone had thought when they had seen my badly bruised face. Apparently, those who had been on the fence about their feelings were solidly in my corner now. It didn't really matter what everyone else thought about the whole mess, but it did make me feel better knowing most, if not everyone, knew Will was the spawn of the devil.

  She left when Noah showed up, and I breathed a sigh of relief seeing him walk through the door. My dream had been affecting me all day, but now that he was with me, it all faded away. I gifted him with a smile and he returned it.

  We sat with our heads together, saying nothing, just kissing occasionally. "What's bothering you, Tori?" he asked, trying to read my face.

  "Nothing is bothering me. Why do you ask?"

  "I don't know. There's just something about the way you looked at me when I came in… almost like relief. Is Tara that bad?" he joked, smiling.

  "No, she was able to distract me today, which was what I needed. I just had a really weird dream last night that's been bothering me all day. No big deal."

  "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "Not really. It was kind of creepy and I would really rather just forget about it."

  Chapter Twenty

  But forgetting about it proved to be impossible. For the next several weeks I was visited by that dream every night, and every night I had to see Noah fall to the ground. My body was healing more rapidly than my doctors had hoped, but now I was afraid my mind was going to break under all of the stress.

  Outwardly, I strived to provide an untroubled appearance, and for the most part it worked. When I would unknowingly let my mask slip, Noah or my mom would catch a glimpse of what my tortured mind was doing to me. When one of them would ask if everything was all right, I would just say I wasn't sleeping well. It usually worked.

  "All
right, Tori, I've had enough. It is obvious there's something that is bothering you and we aren't leaving here until you tell me what it is," Noah said sternly.

  Crap.

  He had driven us to my parents' clearing. I took a deep breath and tried to arrange my face in a way that would convince Noah I was fine. "Everything is fine, really. You don't have anything to worry about. I just haven't been sleeping well."

  "You can drop the act, Tori. If anyone knows when you're lying, it's me. I've seen through this little act of yours for a while, but I didn't want to push you to tell me what was going on. It's obvious whatever it is has been bothering you to the point that you are losing sleep. Just tell me. It can't be that bad."

  "You don't know what you're asking."

  "Then enlighten me. Unless you're breaking up with me, which I really doubt, there isn't anything I can't handle and help you with. Trust me." He was pleading now, which wasn't fair. He knew I couldn't resist telling him whatever he wanted to know when he pleaded with me.

  I stared at him for what felt like an eternity before making the decision to tell him about my dream. I just hoped he didn't try to shrug it all off as some kind of post-traumatic stress thing. "For the last few weeks I've been having this dream…" I began, then told him the whole thing. About how I felt it was a premonition of sorts, and how it was almost killing me to see him die in front of me every night.

  He didn't laugh or even crack a smile, much to his credit. After I finished, I looked at him and waited for his reaction. He was taking such a long time I started fidgeting in my seat and turned to look out the open window. The sky was turning an ominous color, and I thought it reflective of my mood at the present moment.

  "Tori, I'm not sure what to say."

  "I knew you were going to think I was crazy. It isn't post-traumatic stress, either, so you can get that possibility out of your head," I said angrily and got out of his truck, slamming the door.

  Another door closed behind me as I made my way to the other side of the clearing. I thought if I could walk off my anger I might be able to think clearer, but some of the memories from the last time I'd been here were intruding as well, fueling the fire.

  "Tori, stop. Let's talk about this. Tori!"

  Spinning around to face him, I was surprised to see he was so close… close enough to touch. "I don't think this is PTSD, at least not all of it. Listen, anyone who went through what you did would be feeling a little stressed. It's completely normal. I was just overwhelmed by how you feel about me."

  "And how do I feel about you?" I asked, puzzled by his statement and thankful my anger was slipping away.

  "That didn't come out quite how I had hoped it would," he said, laughing nervously. "What I meant to say was me being there and in your dream, possibly dying… you must love me more than I thought you did. You are more frightened of something bad happening to me than anything else right now. And I don't think your dream is a premonition. We've been through too much for fate to deal us that crappy of a hand."

  "Do you think so? Do you think it's all over? Once they find him, that is."

  "I do," he said, moving closer and wrapping his arms around me. "I also think it's time for us to start thinking about next year. I know that you've gotten acceptance letters — made any decisions?"

  "No, I've been a little distracted lately. I can't imagine why," I said, smiling up at him, happy now that my anger had completely passed. "What about you?"

  "I'm going to go to the community college for business. My grandfather is going to let me take over his place after I get my degree, and I'm going to be a farmer. I can't believe I just said that."

  "You sound ecstatic. But to be honest, I never saw you anywhere but here. You wouldn't fit anywhere else."

  "And did you see yourself anywhere else?" he asked hesitantly.

  "At one point, I did. I couldn't wait to get out of this small town and see what the rest of the world had to offer, but after this last year I'm not sure I want to leave. And it isn't because I'm scared to go anywhere else. I just have things in a better perspective now."

  "Have you thought about what you're going to do, then?"

  "A little bit, but no decisions yet. I actually considered just getting a job and working for a semester so I could get my head on straighter and make a better decision about what to do," I said, leaning my cheek against Noah's chest and inhaling deeply.

  "I have a question for you that I don't think you'll have a hard time making a decision about. At least I hope you don't have a hard time," he said, loosening his arms and looking intensely at me.

  "What question?" I asked, interested and a little nervous about what Noah had to say. He was looking a little unsure of himself, and I started to wonder what sort of question would make him feel this way when he stuck his hand into his pocket.

  "Tori, I know I hurt you and I know I can never make up for everything you have been through, but I would gladly spend the rest of my life trying." He got down on one knee and took my hands in both of his. I think I stopped breathing. The sounds around us melted away and it was like we were the only people alive.

  "Victoria Elise Williams, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

  I was stunned silent, but quickly recovered my voice. "Yes, yes! I will marry you!"

  Noah jumped to his feet, grabbed me up in a bear hug, and spun me around. His lips found mine and consumed my senses with the passion I could feel rolling in waves from him.

  He put me back on the ground, but didn't let me go. Taking my left hand, he slid a ring on my third finger. I stared at it while so many questions crowded my mind, but I couldn't speak any of them.

  "I asked your mom for her blessing a few days ago and she asked if I had a ring yet. When I said no, she handed me this one and said it was always meant to come to you next."

  Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the engagement ring my mom had been wearing since my father had placed it on her finger. I couldn't even begin to catalog my emotions, so I didn't try. I just let them roll through me, and then I looked back at Noah. How did I deserve someone like him? I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the love and passion I felt for him.

  We stayed locked in our embrace while rain started penetrating the canopy of leaves overhead. When the first clap of thunder sounded, we ran hand in hand to Noah's truck and closed the doors and windows just as the heaviest rain came crashing down. It was deafening in the cab of the truck, but Noah and I were still smiling like two fools, completely head over heels in love.

  "I think we should wait until this lets up a little," Noah said in my ear. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine and all I could do was nod my head. We sat next to each other and watched as the rain poured down the windshield like an open faucet had been turned on.

  Once it let up, Noah slid across the seat to start the truck, taking me with him. As if now that he had me, he was never going to let me go.

  We drove back to the cabin more slowly than was probably necessary. I spent the drive back grinning to the point my cheeks hurt, staring at my newly decorated hand. I kept waiting for a crashing realization to come down, making me either regretful or scared, but I only felt peace steal over me.

  I looked at Noah to see a matching grin on his face. Sitting there with him, I felt my bruised heart let go of some of the chains that had been wrapped around it, unbeknownst to me. It was freeing to realize these bindings I had unconsciously put there to protect it had fallen away and let me fully accept Noah for who he was, good and bad. My heart was still bruised, but I knew by receiving Noah's love and by freely giving mine to him, it would heal with time.

  My mom's face lit up when we walked into the cabin. Her eyes flew to my left hand and then back to our faces. "Congratulations!" she said excitedly.

  "Thanks," Noah said, still smiling broadly. "Do you mind if I borrow her for a little while? I'd like to go tell my parents as well."

  "That will be fine. Just please rememb
er that you have school tomorrow. And Victoria, remember," she said, beaming.

  "I will, Mom," I answered, waving from the door.

  Noah's parents were happy for us as well. They weren't even a little surprised by our announcement and only wanted to be sure we were going to wait until after college to have the wedding. We assured them we would wait, then Noah drove me back to the cabin.

  "What do you think everyone will say at school?" I asked Noah.

  "I don't know, and I really couldn't care less. Are you nervous about that?"

  "I'm not really nervous. I just know that there will be a few who will have something to say. Of course, those will be the same ones who have something to say about everything."

  "Well, it isn't as if we are going to walk in and make an announcement over the PA system. It's going to take a while for everyone to find out."

  "Have you forgotten that my best friend is the biggest gossip in the school? You did, didn't you?" I giggled when I saw the shocked look on Noah's face.

  "That had slipped my mind. We won't even have to tell anyone but her. Of course, that could be bad. You don't think that she'll embellish it at all, do you?"

  "No, I don't think she will. I'm pretty sure that she's going to be really excited. Her scream alone will alert everyone that something is going on." I grinned at Noah from beside him on the front seat of his truck.

  We said goodbye in front of the cabin, then I watched him drive away. I couldn't wait to see him again in the morning.

  I smiled at my mom when I walked into the cabin and went to sit next to her on the couch. "Are you sure that you're okay with this?" I asked.

  "I am if you are, and I think that you are more than okay. My only concern is the two of you won't wait to go to college first. I just want you to have an education, even if all you do is stay home with babies and take care of a farm."

  "He told you he's going to take over his grandfather's place, didn't he?"

  "Yes, he did. And I have to admit that it makes me very happy, because your future home connects with this property on the north end. You'll still be close, but far enough away that the two of you will have your own lives. I promise to call before I drop by."